I'm Just Tired

I am a mommy of two. I have two beautiful kids. Jaxon is three and a half and playing "the cool kid" these days. He loves superhero's, Dad, and chicken nuggets. Elise is two and such a funny sass. She has attitude but knows exactly who she is. She loves sparkles, Frozen and pink.

I love my life. I really do. I feel so blessed. I have my wonderful husband, who I have been happily married to now for almost six years. I have my healthy, beautiful kids. We have a sweet dog, Spicy. I have a house. I have my religion. Scott has a wonderful job. I have a great part-time job teaching. Life honestly could not get much better!

So why do I feel....tired?? Why do I feel not myself? I am happy, right? My life is wonderful, right? But why do I feel so tired?

Here is some honesty for ya:

If I hear "mom" one more time today, I might jump out the window.
I hate my drabby, gross couches.
I'm sick of finding crayon and marker on EVERYTHING I own. No kidding, it's on my freshly washed laundry from TODAY.
If I have to heat up one more corn dog I might throw up.
Green Eggs and Ham is now my least favorite book on the planet (only because I read it today fifteen times!).

I have lost myself somewhere. On this journey of the last few years of my life I feel like a piece of me has left. I was a fun person to be around at one point in my life, believe it or not! I was skinny, too! I sang everywhere I went. I played the piano for hours during the day. I could make people laugh. I had FRIENDS! Don't get me wrong, I have friends now, but it is SO different.

So what has changed?

Two kids. That's what.

I have had people ask me before, "Don't you miss your old life?" "Wouldn't it be easier without kids?" Yes. And yes.

But there's a BUT to all this...

Here is some more honesty:

There is nothing better than the sound of "mom."
My couches are the places where many memories have been made.
My kids are beautiful artists.
Corn dogs are the easiest to make for my kids for lunches and I am glad I have them on days I am exhausted.
I love that my kids love to read.

Here's a little more:

The best sound in the world is the laughter of my two kids while playing together.
My children adore their dad.
The best feeling in the world is those little tiny arms wrapped around my neck in a giant bear hug.
Ugga-mugga's are the most tender moments during my day.
My two kids are my world.

Yes, I am tired. And yes, there are times when I miss who I was, what I did, and what I looked like. But I would never, ever give up the life I have with my two little buddies for any of that. I have meaning now. My life has meaning now. My children need me, but I really need them. I love those two!